Hancock, Punky Brewster and gettin' Jiggy with the Operating Thetans

Entertainment Weekly's review snarks that 'Hancock' might be some sort of Scientology-influenced fable:

"And, oh yes, there's that talk of angels, or is it some sci-fi race of extraterrestrials who'd feel at home in Battlefield Earth?"
- Entertainment Weekly /July 1 2008

I guess this has some connection to speculation that Mr. Smith is getting all jiggy with the e-meter. Mr. Smith issued a statement denying he is a member of the highly respected Hollywood organization. Willy says he was just sticking up for his home-slice, Tom Cruise.

He also refused comment about his relationship with the controversial Reverend Leroy of the Church of What's Happening Now!

I think Scientology is goofy as fuck, but enough already. Entertainment Weekly has such a hard-on for regurgitating tired pop culture references - like slamming Tom Cruise's favorite cargo-cult - that I'm beginning to feel sorry for Kirstie Alley. If I have to hear about Maverick jumping on Oprah's couch one more time, I'm going to slit my fucking wrists.

I think E.W. is run by a cult that brainwashes journalists into thinking Broadway musicals and Time-Warner's gay channel are actually interesting to anyone. If old-media is a sinking ship, the Time-Warner flag is flying from the crow's nest - and copies of Time magazine and Entertainment Weekly are pasted to the tits of the wooden mermaid on the bow.

Have you picked up a copy of Time magazine lately? It's almost five bucks and it's skimpy page-count is thinner than the Watchtower or a drugstore coupon book. And at least those are free.

Plus, they teach me the importance of donkeys and when sunflower seeds are B.O.G.O.

And really E.W. folks - 'Battleship Earth' jokes? You couldn't come up with something more relevant? Like maybe another Punky Brewster reference? (At least eight this year. See for yourself here.)

Now, where was I...

Oh yeah, Hancock. This movie kicks ass. I liked 'Iron Man' as much as the next geek but was it really anything to write home about? The last half was the same big battle we've seen a million times before. Same with the new Hulk flick. Except on the big screen, Sonic the Hedgehog always beats Dr. Robotnik.

Hancock has the requisite big bucks effects sequences but it really turns on a genuine story and a plot with at least a couple of interesting twists. Stuff happens that genuinely surprises you. Pretty big leap for a superhero flick.

Hancock isn't a masterpiece and it does have a bit of a mawkish, feel-good vibe, but that stuff is fairly minimal and the 12-step stuff goes by quickly. Visually, it's quite blazing. When the action starts, it flies along at a billion miles an hour. When things get all touchy-feely, the camera presses right into peoples faces until you can count their eyebrows. It's got a slick but fresh look.

And I've mentioned this phenomenon recently, but it bears repeating: if your cgi effects are a bit cheesy and you get out of them fast enough - and keep the scene zippy - no one will notice.

Go man! Go! Faster! Faster!

If I liked it enough to defend Scientology and Tom Cruise in the process, that tells you something.

And the opening chase scene is scored to J. Geils Band's "Whammer-Jammer." How cool is that?

More movies could use some of the ol' Magic Dick.

That's what she said!!

Zing!